Summary: Everyone thinks they're married.
Word count: 1,100
Notes: Porny Ten/Donna insta-fic.
"Ah ha!" the Doctor shouted.
The six-foot-high insect being turned to the Doctor. "You have an idea, Mr Noble? A way out of this crisis?"
"Ah, er, it's Doctor, actually. Just 'Doctor', that is, not 'Doctor Noble'. You know, there's a street in Malaga called Doctor Noble; I met him once, the chap it was named after--"
Donna interrupted him forcefully. "The main point is, we're not married. To each other or anyone else."
"You nearly got married, though," the Doctor pointed out. "The first time we met was at her wedding," he told the insect helpfully.
"When you abducted me from my wedding, you mean."
"Abduct nothing! It was an interphasic attractive force between huon particles. Besides, you were lucky I did, your fiancé was going to sacrifice you to a spider." The insect chittered its mandibles in its equivalent of a cough. "Oh, sorry," the Doctor said, turning to it. "Spiders are probably a touchy point for you, aren't they? Me, too, to be honest. Actually, that's a point. Donna, if I ever suggest we go to the fabulous blue planet of the Acteon galaxy ..."
The insect clacked loudly. "It was not the mention of arachnids I was objecting to, Doctor ...?" it trailed off as it realised it didn't know his name.
"Yes, that's exactly right, just 'Doctor'."
The insect looked confused but carried on. "Rather, I was hoping to focus your mind on the problem at hand. With the power system crippled, we only have four hours until the temperature drops below survivable levels."
"Oh, yes, that. Any ideas, Donna?"
* * *
"We have got to get this sorted," Donna said when they got back to the TARDIS after preventing the space station from drifting off into the interstellar wastes, liberating the insectoid underclass and teaching a young boy a heartwarming lesson about the importance of friendship.
"Get what sorted?" the Doctor asked as he idly flicked switches on the console.
"This ... thing! Everywhere we go people assume we're married. We should make sure we establish very clearly up front that we're not. We need to work out exactly what we say to people when we first meet them."
"Oh, that," the Doctor said. He thought about it for a moment. "How about, 'Hello! I'm the Doctor and this is my friend Donna'?"
She gave him a derisive look. "That's a bit pathetic, isn't it?"
"It's worked for me before," the Doctor said defensively. "All right, then: 'I'm the Doctor and this is Donna, my best friend'?"
Donna's lip curled. "Nah. That makes it sound like we might be doing it but be a bit in denial about it."
"'I'm the Doctor and this is my entirely platonic friend Donna'?"
"That just sounds like we're definitely in denial."
"Oh, this is hopeless!" the Doctor said. "Let's just get married and then they'll be right."
Donna took a step towards him, fury on her face. "How about I say, 'I'm Donna and this complete idiot here is the Doctor'?"
The Doctor took a step closer to her. "Oh, I know! 'I'm the Doctor and this is my stalker, Donna.'"
Donna took another step. "'Hi! My name's Donna; don't mind him, he's just a lunatic.'"
The Doctor lunged forward so that there was only a foot or so between them. "'This is Donna. She loves me but she won't admit it.'"
"'I'm Donna, and this is the Doctor; he fancies himself so much he can't cope with the fact that I don't!'"
Simultaneously, they grabbed hold of one another's heads and yanked them towards each other in a powerful kiss. The Doctor thrust his tongue into Donna's mouth as she did the same to him, sliding past and over each other.
Quickly, their hands began to roam over each other's bodies. The Doctor felt Donna's skittering over his shoulder blades, running down his back until coming to rest on his arse. For his part, he quickly pushed aside the fabric of her top from her right breast and lifted it out of her bra, then did the same to the left. He grabbed them firmly and squeezed, then began to make dextrous little movements across and around them, eventually zeroing in on her nipples, which had stiffened to little peaks of arousal. The Doctor broke away from their kiss to bring his mouth down to her chest, sucking on each in turn and giving them little flicks of his tongue.
Donna gave his bum a farewell slap that sent tremors all through his body, and brought her hands up to rest on his shoulders. The Doctor took the hint of the gentle but insistent pressure she applied to them and sank down to his knees on the grated floor, pushing Donna's skirt up as he did so. He hooked a finger into the material of her knickers to slide them out of the way and then began to lick, long, gentle strokes along her slit, gradually teasing apart her lips until he was rewarded with a sudden rush of sweet, salty wetness. He began to lick faster, sliding his tongue into her, deeper and deeper with each repetition, always eliciting a louder groan than the time before.
The Doctor felt Donna's hands move from his shoulders to tangle themselves in his hair. She yanked him further forward so that his tongue slid up to her clitoris and he set to his new task with pleasure, enjoying the way each tiny movement of his tongue had titanic consequences. He felt Donna's thighs shuddering on either side of his cheeks, and knew that she was getting closer to climax.
But before he could drive her over the edge, she pulled sharply upwards on his head. He clambered back up to a standing position and they renewed their kiss. Donna pushed him against the edge of the console and unzipped his trousers with one hand. The Doctor gasped as she slipped inside and gripped his shaft tightly, then guided it out through his fly. The Doctor grabbed on to her back to steady her as she mounted him, resting her knees against the console for balance, all the while keeping a firm grip on his cock to guide it inside her.
For a moment, there was perfect stillness, and the Doctor was almost afraid that she was going to reconsider, make them stop there and then. But then she began to grind down onto his hips, taking him deep inside her and bringing her clit into direct contact with the top of his pelvis. She tossed her long hair to one side and settled into a steady up-and-down rhythm. The Doctor at first tried to match it with thrusts of his own but quickly realised that even the smallest of movements from him would destabilise their precarious arrangement. Instead, he thrust out his tongue to catch Donna's breasts with quick licks as they sailed back and forth above him.
All too quickly, he felt his cock hardening further and his balls begin to constrict. Donna clearly felt it too, as she doubled and redoubled her pace, working herself into a frenzy that only served to drive him wilder still. He clamped down with his teeth on Donna's left breast as he came hard inside her. She continued to ride up and down on his cock, creating amazing sensations that were almost too much for him to bear, until her own orgasm followed and she collapsed onto him.
They broke apart after a moment and slumped down until they were on the floor, backs against the console.
Donna started rearranging her underwear. "OK," she said between pants, "you can say 'I'm the Doctor and this is Donna, my best friend'. That works."
"Didn't you say that made it sound like we were doing it but in denial?"
"You really are quite stupid sometimes, Doctor."
The Doctor looked at her. She looked back at him.
"Oh, right." He looked at something non-existent off to his left. "I don't suppose you fancy being in denial again later, do you?"
"I may have a window between six and seven," Donna said demurely as she got up. Then she leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Bring the handcuffs."